Helping Young Males Through Their Childhood Challenges

Through my journey as a support worker, I have worked with many people of all ages and genders. However, a large portion of my clients now are young males who are transitioning from being children into teenagers. I enjoy working with all my participants but I am particularly drawn to working with these boys as I see my younger self in them. As a 19 year old male who was a troubled young kid coming through school, I hope I can help them navigate through their challenges and to become better young men in the process.

The Challenges for Young Males on the NDIS

From the work I've been doing with young males on the NDIS, specifically supported for Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), the two common challenges I see the boys have stem from an underlying identity crisis and a struggle with breaking negative habits.

Dealing with Identity Crisis & The Struggle in Breaking Negative Habits 

Whether it was answering back to a teacher or doing silly stuff to get a reaction out of people, for most of my childhood, trying to fit in and impress others was a negative habit I did incessantly. However, as I move towards adulthood, I've come to terms with just enjoying being myself without needing the validation. 

As I support these boys, I see similar characteristics & habits of my childhood in them. However, I see a significant difference in the young men with ASD & PDA that I support. As they are not just dealing with the typical pressures of adolescence, they are trying to manage the hidden toll of masking as they try to fit in with unrealistic societal expectations and avoid judgment from peers.  

Through my childhood experience and my work with these boys, when I see one of the boys trying to push boundaries or seek intense reactions, I don’t see a ‘bad kid’. Rather, I see my younger self’s anxieties in desperately trying to figure out who he is and where he fits in.

My goal in working with these boys is to try to break the negative habits and shift the focus off seeking validation from peers, into building internal confidence within themselves. Hopefully, the kind that allows them to acknowledge their own challenges, embrace their deep-seated interests and ultimately, discover that the things that may make them different is what makes them whole.

My Two Key Strategies to Help Navigate Challenges

Relatability Over Authority

As a 19-year-old male who has lived through similar experiences only a few years ago, relating to the boys comes naturally and isn't forced. However, my age is further enough along that I have a clearer perspective on the consequences of certain choices and the accumulation of bad habits. 

Rather than being another authority figure in the boys' lives, I try my best to be a young, approachable role model for them. When I have the chance, I try to tell similar stories of lived experience to them rather than giving demands on how to do things or how things work, in the hope to try and guide them through the challenges they face.  

Identifying Their Emotions & What Caused It

Many young men, particularly those with neurodivergence, struggle to articulate the intense emotions inside them. When one of the boys is quieter than usual or is showing aggression, I try to understand what they are truly feeling and what triggered that reaction.

Getting the boys to put specific words to the emotion and identify the trigger is a major way we begin to break or avoid negative habits. This process is crucial: once we understand the cause and effect, we can work out how to navigate that same situation constructively the next time that emotion is triggered. This is core to the foundation of their emotional regulation.

Bringing It All Together

Ultimately, supporting young males on the cusp of adolescence, especially those navigating the world with ASD and PDA, isn't about forcing conformity or handing out quick fixes. It's a journey rooted in genuine connection and practical skill-building.

By offering relatability over rigid authority, we create a space where they feel safe enough to be seen. By teaching them to identify their emotions and triggers, we empower them by helping them to regulate their emotions.

My hope, through this work, is to guide these young men to realise that their unique way of seeing the world is not a burden but a superpower. The goal isn't just to help them survive the transition to high school, but to equip them to confidently thrive as they move towards adulthood. They don't need to change who they are; they just need the tools to navigate the world as their authentic selves.